Make Good Choices!

I feel I must straightaway make a ridiculously obvious confession – I am clearly no great philosopher, nor, contrary to my oft-rambling thoughts and writings, do I fancy myself as such! I sometimes just feel it worthwhile to share what’s on my mind. I truly appreciate the few who venture to read these blogs and, perhaps, a couple of you may actually find a thing or two worth pondering.   

Now, with that understanding, I feel it IS amusing how staring at the vast endless ocean can free your mind to think clearly and to consider one’s life, the passing of time, and the choices you’ve made. Time & Choices, Kissing Cousins, but so different. One is a steam-blowing beast beyond our control, barreling down the tracks, undeterred by opinion, belief, or desire. The other, dominantly in our control, can be shaped by our minds and influenced by chance, fate, faith, or luck. As we sit on on our cruise ship balcony, currently sailing somewhere in the Coral Sea off the coast of Australia, Kristi is remembering a time near the end of her working life, having fully committed to early retirement, sitting at her desk at 7:00 AM with meeting after meeting lined up, having kids’ drama constantly at her door, dealing with feeding hungry students and other random chaos, while generally feeling like it MUST be about lunch time; only to look up and it would barely be 8:30 AM! As it turns out, my experiences were exactly the same. At that crossroads in our life, time seemed to stand STILL, not unlike it did when we were kids and wanted everything to hurry up, but “IT” would NEVER get here! Now, in the present, here we are some 50 years later, and realizing more and more that time really does FLY.  

I can’t believe we are approaching two years since we retired. I had always hoped that time would pump the brakes when we slowed down into retirement, but it’s like my foot slipped and hit the accelerator! No matter if we are full speed ahead traveling all over the world, or sitting at home in Oklahoma doing little more than reading, watching TV, browsing the internet, or spending time with friends & family, it’s a blur…no stopping the run-away time train. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had a blast and LOVE being retired (said it before & will say it again…NO REGRETS), but in many ways we feel like we have been busier, or more active now than when we were working our 9-5’s. Mundane goals seem to have gone out the window since we retired. But, hey, why worry too much about what gets done when we pretty much just do what we want each day? Fortunately, we are disciplined enough to make sure what needs to get done, does. Plus, there’s always the next day. Of course, no one is promised tomorrow, yet having goals can be very useful, big or small, long or sort. Remember the old adage, if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time, or you have to have a map of where you’re going or you’ll never get there? No argument here. So, yeah, knowing what you want and living your best life now, with at least some semblance of how to get there, is great. However, what our best life really comes down to is one word…freedom. Not like the freedom we have as American citizens, or that given by laws and government documents, those are undeniably great, but I’m talking about personal freedoms. Choices. 

We all have the right to choose how we spend our time. Sure, sometimes it feels out of our control…we HAVE to go to work, we have to take care of our kids, etc. But even if someone/something else is influencing or choosing for you, then that was likely in some form or another YOUR choice too, yet you still get to decide how to react to it. Just like the song lyric from the band Rush says, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice”. Now, sure, if someone were, say, catatonic, then they probably aren’t making many of their own decisions, but for the sake of discussion here, lets hope and pray we don’t face that unfortunate fate. I recently read a book (because I now have plenty of time to do so) titled Dark Matter by Blake Crouch. It’s a work of fiction about a scientist whose choices lead him to live a simple family life, with a ho-hum career which many of those in his life felt fell short of reaching his full potential or realizing his own dreams. In summary, he finds himself moving between multiple realities, each based on different scenarios resulting from an infinite number of decisions/choices he’s made in his life, just like the same ones we all make in the real world, every second of every day. Imagine how your life may have been different if, as a kid, you chose this friend over that, actually asked out that one girl/guy – or didn’t, wake up or sleep, go to school or don’t, study or don’t study, drink or don’t drink, hate or be kind? As an adult, how about go to college or not, take this job or that one, travel or stay put, waste money on foolish fleeting possessions or save, get married or stay single, have children or don’t, cheat or stay faithful, go to the doctor or avoid it, have faith or believe nothing? These are all obvious ones, but what about more mundane choices? Turn left or right, walk or run, accelerate at the light or slow roll it, answer the phone or ignore it, open the mail or stack it up, wear jeans or shorts, shoes or barefoot, eat salad or pizza, long hair or haircut, wash or don’t wash, read this whole post or move along? Don’t even get started on your own thoughts, known only to you, and how all of this leads you down a certain path to who you are… 

Right 

THIS 

Very 

Moment in Time!

 Kristi and I both grew up in lower income housing, moving often, without a lot of the cool-kid things or experiences, even though our single parents we lived with worked hard to raise us in a safe environment and provide what we needed. We made it, no worse for wear and, in many ways yet unknown to us at the time, it could be argued that we were better off for it in the long run. We learned the consequences of choices from a different vantage point than many of our friends. From the time we were kids, and increasingly more so as we grew older, we made countless decisions every day that affected the directions of our lives. Every thought, every spoken word, each action, reaction, and the results (which all then required more, and more, and more decisions) contributed to making us who we are today. Time passed as it is wont to do, and we continued the routine for decades as adults before really figuring things out. Now, fortunately, we have the benefit of having experienced both the have-nots, and the haves. Of course, this process will continue to shape us until that very moment the kept-secret-to-us time we are destined to leave this life. Until then, no matter how much you stand in front of the mirror and visually search your earthly vessel, behind every hidden flap, every edge, top or bottom, you’ll likely never find a definitive, printed expiration date, even a faint one. There will be signs of time passing, but again, all we can do is choose how we respond and make do the best with what we have been given. The famous FW Borehm once said, “We make our decisions. And then our decisions turn around and make us.” So true. Well-known in her own right, Kristi has always called after our kids, and now our grandkids, even her students over the years, when departing, “Make good choices!” Great advice. One would do well to heed it to the best of one’s ability, every mili-second. If the result doesn’t turn out so great, or as expected, consider your reaction and then make the next one count, and the next one, and the next one….

So, are we slowing down into retirement? Do we really want to? Who are we kidding? The brakes on the time-train are out! So, I guess we’ve just decided to put the pedal to the metal as long as we can. An expiration date is just a suggestion anyway, right? Time may have its own mysterious itinerary, but we’re choosing to enjoy the hell out of the ride!

Mike

Australia, March 2024